Engagement party and new haircut

Hello all!


This Saturday, Clara took us to her friend's engagement ceremony. In Ghana, when a man wants to marry a woman, tradition has it that he must ask the bride-to-be's family for permission. The actual words involve something along the lines of "I saw a beautiful flower in your garden, and would like to pluck it and take it with me." The family then discusses this matter with their daughter, and a few weeks later, comes up with a list of gifts, a set of conditions, if you will, for the man's family. So in Ghanaian culture, it is the man who provides the dowry in a marriage. The engagement ceremony is the when the families confirm the couple's union (after carefully checking if every item in the list was provided).

The party was taking place in a family friend's house, with a beautiful courtyard full of decorated tables, a catering buffet, and an amazing Ghanaian percussion group. If we hadn't been told it was an engagement party, I would definitely have thought we were at a wedding. There was, however, one thing missing... Only the bride's family was present. Also, neither the bride or the groom were to be seen.

Two of the drummers, Kwaku and Anthony.

We sat at a table, talking and eating a few entrees, while Clara explained to us how marriages in Ghana work. A few minutes later, the drumbeats began to pound. During the musical introduction, a procession marched in, carrying large, wrapped packages. It was the groom and his family, bringing along all the gifts that comprised the dowry.

The two families sat together, separately from the guests, and the mothers gave start to the celebrations. Each of them took turns with the microphone, welcoming the other family and talking about their children. Some of what they said was in Twi, and although Clara did translate good part of it, I can't completely explain what they were saying. But the bride's mom did make sure to mention, how late the other family was...
The family member's then took turn introducing themselves, saying their names and their relation to either the bride or the groom. One of the bride's aunts offered a song, in Twi, which basically all the people present (except for the few obrunis) sang along with such  emotion, that it rivaled the power of the drums.

The gifts are then taken by the woman's family, to see if the contents match the list of required items. This, however, is mostly done for tradition's sake (no one really expected the bride's family to refuse the man on the spot). After coming outside and accepting the gifts, the family brings out the lady. In a fun joke, sometimes the family will bring out the wrong daughter. Upon refusing his substitute wife, the woman's family asks the groom for transport money to go bring the real bride. We were not witnesses to this, sadly.

A priest then came, and said a few prayers to bless the couple and the event. The couple is then allowed to exchange rings, and their union is official. This was the cue for the family members to take the microphone and start giving their wishes and marriage advice. Although some were pretty sound, a few were not so sober. In probably the funniest event of the weekend, the host made a very long speech, which was probably entitled "marriage is not sweet!!!!!".

After a few good laughs, the new bride and groom walked around to greet their guests. They were both wearing traditional Ghanaian clothes, made of a special type of cloth named kente, and the bride's body was painted.

The engagement was an incredible party, with a lot of new customs to observe.One of the drummers, Anthony, is Clara's friend, and we might set up a drumming lesson later this week. Also, I am definitely getting a kente cloth in our time here in Ghana!



Oh yes, my incidental haircut... On Sunday, I decided my hair was getting to long for the hot weather in Ghana, so I accompanied my brother Kwasi to a nearby barber shop. Kwasi already has short hair, so he only took about 3 minutes to be done. Apparently, I was the first straight-haired person the barber had ever "worked on"... Not a good sign haha

Communication was being a bit of an issue, so I explained to Kwasi what I wanted, and he helped me translate that to the barber. I asked him to trim my hair a little, make it short, but not shave it off. The first result was what we Brazilians call a "bowl haircut", meaning it looked like he put a bowl on my head and used a machine around it. Basically, the second time around I said I wanted to cut more around the sides and the back, to get rid of the the bowl-line.

Result: my sides were shaved off. I looked like I had a block of hair on the top, and just my scalp on the sides and back! Not too many options left, we had to shave it off.

It was actually a pretty fun process, and I think the barber had never cut off so much hair from a single person (not because my hair was particularly long, just because most Ghanaian men already style close to shaved heads).

Kofi, me, Alex (my buds who work at the internet cafe where I post)

 So in my efforts to become more Ghanaian, the haircut can now be checked off!

Slowly looking like a local, (but not really),

Henrique